CataLyst

This is not a religious entry, it’s universal. Promise.

Wanted to pray in the kafe medika musholla that day. So i went there. I didn’t bring my own praying cloak/veil but i just went there anyway because i’m sure there will be some to borrow. I can already imagine the smell–days n days of a number of people’s sweat lodged there on the veil.  Most of the time it also has face powder stains.

Hope my heart’s purer than this, u know, i mean, imagine, i’m already borrowing,  then just shut up n use the thing, right??  The only reason it smells is because all those people made the effort to find time, go there, n pray no matter how scalding hot the day was, cloak n veil n all.

Now i hav this habit of borrowing from someone who just finished using her mukena, because chances r she chose it first, smell, color, n all.. Better yet it could be hers, so chances r she washes it with reasonable frequency..  should logically be cleaner than the ones lying around there.. i mean they’re technically holy since there’s no blood or human secretion or what, but mayb they’re probably only washed twice a year.

So the only other female praying there at the time was this waitress from kafe medika. She was just about to finish. I recognize her, i’m sure we all do, no matter how seldom we eat there. I looked at her.. then looked back at the racks. I was thinking of all the work she must’ve done all morning, all the foods being cooked n served, all the people crammed in the cafe, some smoking.. But the racks hav mukenas that seem to be really, realy dirty.

Oww what the heck.. when she finished i smiled at her n said if i can borrow it.. so i did.

When i pulled the long mukena top until the part where it just showed my face n covered all my hair, i tried not inhale.. but of course i breathed. And I inhaled one the freshest detergent+fabric softener i’ve ever smelt. The mukena was clean, not damp, fragrant, n the fabric was not hot at all. Even if it wasn’t newly washed, the user must’v hung it properly every time, to dry it out of the wudhu water we always take to purify ourselves before we pray.

Hmmm.

Mirna, mirna. After all u’v been thru, u still judge by appearances. I was seriously ashamed that day. I always thought of myself as knowing that nothing is like what it seems from the outside.

Ya rite.

+celestial_mirna

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Buat apa coba ditaro ratusan oknum buat memantau lepas pantai di selatan jawa? Emangnya kalo airnya naek bisa ditahan ama mereka? Kenapa pemerintah nggak bikin reserve fund mulai dari sekarang, buat korban-korban gempa susulan? Bukannya ngedo’ain yang enggak2 sih, ramalan emang bikin masalah kalo terlalu dipercaya, tapi prediksi kan lain. Kalo udah ada data dari BMG segala macem, apalagi emang bumi lagi nggak stabil, bikin aja reserve fund yg dicicil dikit2, jadi tinggal disalurin kalo ada apa-apa. Masa’ singapura atau jepang atau amerika bisa ngirim perban, biskuit, beras, dll dan sampenya pada waktu yang sama ataupun lebih cepat sama bantuan dari ibukota kita sendiri? Emangnya jepang nggak punya rakyat sendiri, apa? Tapi dana-dana emergency gitu kan ada. Bayangin, "bencana" yg terhitung mendadak di negara lain aja mereka punya harta negara yg disisihin buat disumbangin ke sana, apalagi kalo bencananya di negara sendiri. Dan simpanan tak terduga gitu kan harusnya tiap negara punya ya. Nggak perlu ada bencana dulu baru dikumpul, dibentuk tim.

Hmmm.. my dear republic..

Ceritanya gempa di pangandaran kemaren, jepang udah nelfon dan mewanti-wanti menristek bahwa akan ada ketidakstabilan. Tapi kata menristek nggak kok. Gosipnya sebenernya dianya aja yang nggak yakin, dan enggan bikin persiapan pertolongan kalo2 perlu disalurkan. Menurut dia, lho, mana bisa bencana alam dikira-kira kapan kejadian. Lho??

Hahaha, sekarang gw mulai kedengeran sok ambisius kayak mahasiswa-mahasiswa yang baruuuuu aja tau, baruuuu aja ngerti tentang busuknya negara. Jadi darah muda mereka yang begitu bergolak jadi bikin kampanye, unjuk rasa, teriak-teriak di jalan dan demo. Do they really make a difference?

Menurut gw sih mereka cuma ngabisin waktu, dan nambah2 resiko radang tenggorokan dan dehidrasi. Coba deh, apa ada yang pernah ngirim surat ke kompas atau tempo? Pake nama almamater? Apa pernah ada yang minta mading sekolahnya bikin artikel dan dikasi ke gatra? Kenapa nggak bikin kerja kelompok nerjemahin satu tulisan terus dikirim ke Time magazine Asia? Pasti wartawan2 time gatel mau publish suara hati. Lebih "terdengar" kan aspirasinya? Dan nggak menyebabkan harus beli Aqua, megaphone, spanduk dan F.G. Troches.

Tenang mir, tenang, tenang. Hahaha. Side-effects obat maag nih.

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Remember Nelly Furtado’s video clip Powerless? It’s really cool.. fresh n colorful. Like the part where her head is poking out of the really bright orange-brown leaves. The part where she was wearing a hooded jacket, n the transparent raincoat. I liked her makeup in the scene where she was sitting on that couch. If u notice, when u see her upclose she’s wearing two colors of eyeshadow at the same time, blue n light yellow. It was really nice, to put it half and half like that. I don’t really know that much about makeup so i was impressed that she pulled it off, i thought the makeup artist is great n likes to have fun with colors.

I suppose it’s that that hard if u let two different colors stay strongly as the original color that they are, no blending. But right where they meet, they know how to fuse. The result is beautiful.

++++++

Mash, it’s true rite, i AM one of da laziest ppl alive when it comes to blogging. Hmmm…

I’m in Jambi!!! Had so many plans.. wanna go places (ehem!), see ppl..

Compare!!

a. Idealism.

Wake up at around 5. Stay awake after sholat Subuh. Go jogging with Papa Papupapu. Come home, shower. Execute whole length of acne medication routine for morning+wash hair. Join Kak Aton in kitchen n learn to cook. Eat with family. Driving lessons. Come home, nap. Learn Beethoven’s freaking tough 11-page-long Sonata Pathetique — Allegro Mvt. (motivation: Schroeder played this thing in the movie My Husband, Charlie Brown while Lucy was leaning on his baby grand talking about wives n mocking a statue of George Washington’s bust.) Shower+acne medication routine, 2nd time. Dinner. Watch tv. Sleep at 11.30. Repeat.

b. Realism

Not praying, so not waking up at 5. Wake up at 11. Jogging time over. Cooking time over. Morning acne routine schedule passed. Shower. Eat. Driving lesson. Nap. Eat again. Watch tv. Not sleepy. Chat till 1. Repeat.

c. Surrealism

Wake up at 5. Get ready. Check things. Fast breakfast. Enter car at around 6.30. Destination: airport (bound for Jakarta) OR Kuala Tungkal (jambi’s ferry port..bound for batam-singapore-malaysia) OR anywhere north (bound for medan by car and taking in all the beautiful, beautiful sightseeing along the way).

Sigh.

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Compare!

a. Meaning of -ed

Passive form. Done by another person. Completed process. Already done when talked about. Undefined and unpredicted finish time, but doesn’t matter, it’s done. Could b as recent and as raw as 2 hrs ago or as dated 2 months ago.

b. Meaning of -ed.

Past tense. Completed process. Already done when talked about. Undefined and unpredicted finish time, but doesn’t matter, it’s done. Could b as recent and as raw as 2 hrs ago or as dated as 2 months ago.

Quiz: I wanna say that I’m healed. What does that mean?

[I'm seriously saying that grammatical improvement or TOEFL books teach tenses this way.]

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Gw ngerasa bersalah kalo gw buka friendster profile temen2 gw yg jauh dan lama gak gw temuin, dan sebenernya gw kangen bgt ama mereka, tapi ironisnya makin besar kangen gw dan makin panjang waktu gw ngga ketemu mereka, makin bingung gw apa yg akan gw bilang dlm msg atau testimonial gw. Jadinya foto2 mereka cuma gw liat2in doang.

Dih, ngga produktif

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Gw nyesel dulu pernah kenal ama org yg gw kira aneh bgt karena mengagung-agungkan seseorang di atas segalanya pdhl menurut gw orang itu ngga ada gunanya buat dia. Skrg gw nyadar, i was too fast to judge her. She’s always been nice, open, honest. Mayb brutally honest. Waktu itu gw ngerasa yakiiiin bgt kalo gw tau persis dia tuh orangnya kyk apa dan gw bete ma dia.

Pdhl sebanyak apapun pengalaman kita, tetap aja ADA tipe-tipe orang yang BELUM PERNAH KITA HADAPIN SEBELUMNYA. Jadi apa alesannya kita tau gimana mesti nasehatin dia, menghadapi dia, melindungi dia? Kita tau apa sih? Skrg kalo gw mau patch up ma dia lg mungkin udah susah. Krn ada saat di mana dia mencari gw, when she needed me, dan gw biarin. Karena gw menilai dia beda bgt ma gw, dia ngga akan bisa nyambung ama gw dan dia buang waktu gw. I regret that.

Dia cewek yg amazing. Hal2 yg gw ngga mengerti dari dia dan menurut gw aneh, freaky, dan menyedihkan dan minta dikasihani, ternyata gw emang nggak paham aja. Gw nggak paham sama sekali.

Dan dia juga mungkin tau kali ya. To all the people out there yg ngerasa kalo lo susah dimengerti, coba deh lo kenalan ama orang baru. Mungkin dalam satu jam aja lo udah bisa nebak kalo orang ini bisa ngerti lo atau nggak, terlepas dari berapa lama dia butuh waktu buat memahami lo. Dan gw rasa dia tau kalo gw ngga bakal mengerti dia. So we stayed very superficial. Ngapain dia susah-susah ngebuka diri, toh gw ngga bisa nerima. Dan emang ternyata gw ngga bisa nerima.

And the more i think of it, the more i am amazed how she can contain all that inside her. Bayangin aja, tiap kali lo mau membuka diri lo sama seseorang, ngerasa, "Mungkin yg ini lain.. mungkin yg ini lain." Tp lo salah. Dan ngga jadi deh. Tadinya ada yg mau lo share, lo tumpahin ke orang itu, mungkin dia ngerti, dia ngga kayak yg lain, but then.. u change ur mind. Capek bgt pasti kan. Jenuh. Rugi juga ya gw. Apapun itu, bagaimanapun itu, at least kalo lo mau membatasi orang dari hidup lo, ya batasin atas apa yg lo MENGERTI lah. Mungkin dia nggak baek buat jadi temen lo, pembunuh bayaran gitu misalnya. Ini gw nggak. Gw membatasi dia dari hidup gw justru karena gw nggak mengerti. Sebenernya itu ngerugiin, ya nggak sih.

Aneh ya. Kalo dia cowok, yg tadinya mau gw dekatin atau lagi dekatin gw dan ada kesalahpahaman kyk gini mungkin bakalan lebih gampang memperbaiki keadaan.. karena salah satu dari kita punya "motivasi" buat dekatin yg lain. At least lah. Walaupun kedengerennya dangkal, tapi at least ada "motif". But this girl..

At the same time, i have to prove myself but also what the hell do i need to prove anyway??

Whoossahhhh.

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celestiaLcataLyst

I knew I shouldn’t have created a blog. I knew it.

Gempa di Bantul. Setengah jam dari tempat gw. And on my flight home to jambi on the following wednesday, I was scared stiff (as always), holding my father’s hand, my hand was sweaty, and cold. He told my mom and of course she scolded me for that.

People r dying from this 5.7 RS earthquake n i was on the edge of my seat cos of a connecting flight.

Sorry la! Fear is personal, okay!

I’ve moved to a new kos.. there i’ll b with Una.. n i donno who else is probably moving in there.. for those of u familiar with jaKal, it’s in Gg wuni.. yah, di situ-situ juga deh.. i’m supposed to move into my house, but the construction is not done yet.. but i’m not prolonging the house i rented with ida/una/dali.. so i’m moving into a kos.

I put this here just to clear things up, cos everybody’s askng, hehe. Sorry yak.

I tried to play piano today. My fingers were so stiff. Need lotsa practice..

Akhir-akhir ini gw jadi suka nonton kuis karaoke dangdut yg di tpi. Tapi kalo pembawa acaranya si selVi. Heboh sendiri gitu loh, dia! Hahahaha. Serius, jadi terhibur gw. Bukan ama acaranya ,tapi ama dianya yang sibuk sendiri! Dia minum multivitamin apa yah, kok bisa segitu meletup-letupnya.

Dangdut sih. Emang gitu kali ya. Hehe.

This is what happens when i force myself to write an entry, but actually i donno what i wanna say. For the sake up updating, i guess. I’m a disgrace to all daily columnists, i guess. Maksa

Udah ah! Gelisah nih.

*celestial_

Yeah, you read correctly. It’s not evanescence. It’s effervescent.

Last nite after a hmi meeting me n TuLipZe surveyed some effervescent supplement tablets. Redoxon is mostly vitamin C. 1000 mg to b exact. CDR has vitamin C n calcium. These vitamin C supplements r mostly for immunity.. if u feel like u have a cold or something.

Berocca has all the B vitamins, plus zinc, folic acid, magnesium, vitamin A…

Supradyn is like Berocca but the taste is a fresher orange. It’s like es jeruk.

But of course, being me, i didn’t note down their price differences. All i know, buying these in apotek ugm is much much much cheaper than putera kampus, or mirota kampus, or any other kampus-es!!! Take my word for it..

then the person driving kept misscalling us, so… oh well.. had to go home..

***
Make drinking milk and a tablespoon of honey everyday a habit. It’ll be good for ya.

***
Lately i like to use a hairdryer. Wonder why.

Cya!

+celestial…

Hahaha, yea yea i know, i got into this late, everybody’s doing it already rite.. but that’s the whole point. Hee hee.

Sekarang gw punya payung dong! Now if anybody messes with me, hmm.. zapp!

(Woi you, yea you, no comment la wei!! Shush!)

Tadi malem gw ke ultah maher di whazzup.. rameeee banget.. sampe makanan gw ngga dateng-dateng dan ketika dateng pun gw ga tau apa bener itu makanan gw atau bukan.. hmmm, tapi ya udah gw makan aja.. dan si arie kan jualan anting tuh.. gw beli, terus gw naek karena di bawah udah ngga ada kursi lagi.. dan pas gw turun orangnya udah pulang! Ariiie, maap yak! Blom dibayar nih anting2nya..

I’m supposed to search about reproductive health.. tapi buat tingkat pengetahuan anak2 kelas 4 atau 5 sd.. don’t ask.. dan dari tadi gw cuma ngetik email, dan milih2 warna blog, dan nyarinya nggak jadi-jadi. Ups.

I was with miss eldest daughter all afternoon n she smilingly took out a whole pack of kitkats from her cupboard saying that she doesn’t really eat them, and i ate three. Hehehe. Ok i know it’s not much la, i was shy ok. Malaysian kitkats taste better, u know? I can taste that the choc covering the wafer is tastier.

Then went to tutor. Hmmm. I didn’t know that the english word order actually regulates u to put ordinals before epithets. It should be The_second_beautiful_cousin, not the_beautiful_second_cousin. Determinant_ordinal_epithet_classification_main noun/headword.

I disagree. What if we really are talking about the second cousin?

determinant_ordinal_epithet[opinion(subjective)-size-color-origin-amount-other adjectives]_headword_predicate_adverb[of manner]_predicate_adverb[of place-time]

The_other_attractive_thin-blue-african-woven_bracelet_was-beautifully-crafted_in-zimbabwe_three-
decades-ago.

Phew.

I’ve done all i can, for once i know the best thing to do is not do anything. That’s really a F-d up feeling u know. Imagine. The best thing to do is nothing.

Yes, yes, captain, ok. I’ll get up. Sorry! =)